Johnson to Sunderland | Nazarit to Chelsea | Al Thani to buy Manchester UnitedA word of advice: if you are ever condemned to death by firing squad, make sure the rifleman play for West Ham. Chances are you'll survive. The Hammers have attempted more shots than even Manchester United so far this season but have had fewer attempts on target than anyone but Birmingham. But hurry up! Because Avram Grant - who, ironically, remains in situ because while West Ham's players are prepared to have a pop from even the most preposterous distances, the club's owners refuse to fire until Doom itself is jeering them from point-blank range - has a cunning plan to improve the team's accuracy: relieve United of Michael Owen! For a manager who has spent most of the season complaining about his players' wretched luck with injuries, this seems a wild risk.Far more credible, then, are reports linking West Ham with Monaco striker Dieumerci Mbokané, whose previous clubs include the second-best in the world, TP Mazembe. There are also reports that West Ham want another Grant - Norwich's Holt, to be precise. So all we can say for sure is that West ham desperately want a new striker. Heck, let's go out on a limb and say they'd quite fancy new midfielders and defenders too. And a new goalkeeper.Chelsea want a new striker too, apparently, and Colombian international Cristian Nazarit sounds quite seasonal so he'll do. Real Madrid are thinking the same thing though.Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani hasn't featured in the Guardian nearly as much as he'd like so in order to boost his profile he's going to buy Manchester United, apparently. The Glazers, then, are about to become history in Manchester, which shall henceforth be a Middle Eastern playground. City aim to ensure the boy bin Khalifa Al Thani won't be able to put the 2010-11 Premier League trophy on his mantlepiece by splurging this January on Eden Dzeko, Dani Alves and Hulk.Sunderland hope City will not notice, therefore, if Steve Bruce nips in and nicks Adam Johnson.Liverpool are sniffing around Christoper Samba. In a totally unrelated development, Samba has reportedly told Blackburn he wants to leave the club out of solidarity with the unjustly sacked Sam Allardyce. Similarly, Kevin Gameiro has told Lorient he wants to leave: and Liverpool are interested in him too, though the bustling 23-year-old striker is also being tracked by Newcastle, Valencia and Benfica.Another forward on Liverpool's watch list is Dmitry Payet. The forward was on fire at the start of this season but his combustible temperament - last season he was suspended for head-butting a Saint-Etienne team-mate - has made suitors wary. Tottenham may be the most eager to take a gamble on the hot-head.West Ham UnitedMichael OwenPaul Doyleguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds
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